You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
