The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
