is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Life is so much better after having sex.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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