Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
