Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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