shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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