just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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