working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
