Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
