similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
