We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
