That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize