All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
