absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If I die, sorry about rent.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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