we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
