I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
