Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
