The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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