then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
