$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
