I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
