I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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