i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Green mimosas i think yes
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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