I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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