boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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