Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
