ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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