How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
