I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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