just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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