i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
