Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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