OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
How's work?
Spinning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
