Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
