My room smells like vodka and shame
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
