Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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