did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
