Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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