Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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