As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
