what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
