My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
