I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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