I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
