we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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