I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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