I'm so fucking centered right now
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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