So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
