NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
