I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
